Alice (sagemessalina) wrote,

Bravery in the face of feelings and medical procedures

I am brave today, because I got blood drawn for my yearly staff medical check in front of millions of colleagues, and I am a weenie about needles. But the nurse practitioner was amazing. And afterward I got to eat a giant breakfast, and CUDDLE PUPPIES. One of the math teachers had to bring his toy poodle dogs in because of some family movement, and one crawled in my lap and just... stayed there, so happy. Right before lunch the other science teachers called me in, and 'surprised' me with a birthday cake. (Banana chocolate. Stupid delicious.) All in all, not a bad day to pee in a cup and get stabbed in the arm.

Last night I went for a run for the second time this week, and went 4.6k according to Google Maps later. If I keep going, I could maybe do a 10k race some time in the fall, though that sounds very long and very stressful. But another teacher posted something for the races on, and one of them is trekking through a beautiful trail. I'm tempted. Maybe it will combine the worst parts about running and the slippery, dangerous parts of hiking, but maybe it will combine the relaxation of moving under trees with the mellowness of running slowly.

Also last night, had another 'fight' with boyfriend 1 about feelings, which I'm convinced now were caused by hormones trying to flush my uterus in the next 8 hours. (By the end of the run, my body felt good, but my brain was at the numb stage of 'why am I dating anyone at all?') But like all my fights, it followed the pattern of:
A: I have a feeling
J: Okay. Tell me about this feeling.
A: Here are details about this feeling, and maybe why, and a few other feelings.
J: Okay.
A/J: Maybe we could do these things, and feelings will get better.

One day, I want to have a cliched fight, just to know what they feel like.
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